Think, “How Could This Benefit Me?”

Everything that has and will happen to you serves a purpose. When you’re going through an extremely difficult time - a recession in the market, a death in the family, a divorce - it’s even more difficult to believe so. You’re going to mourn, reminisce on bad experiences, and think - a lot. There’s no way of sugarcoating it. But when such experiences happen, your control will still be there, stronger and better. 

It is only when you’re in an uncomfortable situation, unfamiliar and downright terrifying, that you can grow. The way you view yourself, others, and life in general will change - and for the better. Take it from me as someone who had gone through a rough death in the family. I’m going to talk a little bit about my own experience to make my point clearer. 

My father had painfully and bravely fought lung cancer for three years before he died. It was the most difficult hurdle my family had to jump through. But during that time, I made sure to be there for him while he was in his own difficult time, and through that, I realized a lot of things I wouldn’t have noticed if I had avoided the pain and had not been there for him. I grew a deeper understanding and appreciation of how fragile yet beautiful life is. I cherished my relationship with him, my family, and, most importantly, myself. I made efforts into becoming healthier and taking care of myself in ways I had not even thought of before. The positive at the other end of this experience hadn’t come easily to me. But when it did, the effects are long-term. 

This is what I call “reframing”. There is no doubt that these experiences are tough, painful, and immobilizing enough to stagnate you for a while. But despite that, it pushes you to be better - if you let it. Acknowledge and accept the pain and then think. 

Think, “How can this serve me? What can I take away from this? Does everything just end here? Or will I go through the doors it has opened for me? Will I allow myself to be better?”