Think The Second Thought

We’ve all gone through traumas that stuck with us up until now whether emotional, physical, or a combination of both. Although it stays in the past, the memory threatens to come back and haunt us, and it influences our actions in the now. They’re powerful so much so that they have conditioned us into reacting in a particular way even to events that are not related to the trauma. In turn, the first and initial thought that comes to our minds is negative and comes automatic to us. However, what you can control is your reaction to it. This is what we call the second thought. 

How can we deviate the first and second thought from each other? There are two steps to achieve this. Firstly, you have to acknowledge your first as it is -- no judging, no self-policing, and no jumping to conclusions. When you catch yourself thinking, “Here I go again. I’m such a bad person,” hold that thought and look at it as something outside of you (because it is!). Remember that it is only a memory, something that’s inside your head and therefore, unable to harm you on its own unless you let it. However, this is not to say that anybody would let a painful memory hurt them on purpose. This is where the second thought comes in. How you initially react to a pervasive, painful memory is natural and uncontrollable, but it is not permanent. What you can control is your reaction once you acknowledge it. This way, you can replace positive reinforcements to the memory over time rather than indulging on the pain it initially causes. You can say to yourself, “Okay, that was a painful experience for me, but I am letting it go for me and my own peace, and I am much stronger and better for having lived through it.” 

Memories, although they’re just in our heads, hold so much power over us enough for them to control what we do and how we do it. But, just as how things are “only” in our heads, we also have the power to control it.